Intelligent, creative, sporty, courageous, empathetic, emotional, funny – children have so many abilities. Nevertheless, they alone are not enough to achieve their goals later. That’s why parents should equip their children with one thing above all else: mental strength.

Psychotherapist and social worker Amy Morin writes in one Guest article on the US news platform “CNBC” How parents can achieve this with ten simple but effective sentences. With these you can promote resilience, emotional intelligence and problem-solving skills.

What children need to become mentally strong

According to her, raising mentally strong children isn’t about telling them to “toughen up.” Rather, it is essential to equip them with the skills to tackle challenges, control their emotions and believe in themselves.

Morin believes you can help your children build their mental strength with the words you choose. Integrate these ten statements and questions into your everyday life. By doing this, you create an environment where children can safely learn, fail and grow. Because small words can make big changes.

1. “What would you say to your friend who has this problem?”

When a child is upset, they often engage in negative self-talk. They say things like “I’ll never pass math.” The psychotherapist explains that it is tempting to calm them down. However, children then learn to rely on us to reframe their negative thoughts.

Instead, she recommends: Teach children to rephrase their own thoughts . As they use this question to think about how they would comfort a friend with kind words, their perspective changes and they learn to speak to themselves with self-compassion.

2. “It makes sense that you would think that way.”

“Affirmation is powerful,” says Morin. Acknowledging and empathizing with your child’s feelings will help them feel seen and understood. Validating their feelings also builds trust and can make them more open to sharing their problems with parents.

This phrase tells children that their emotions are valid, even if they may be a little out of proportion.

3. “It’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to act that way.”

According to the expert, it is important that children know that there is a difference between feelings and behavior. On the one hand, this sentence confirms the child’s feelings and, on the other hand, sets limits for his behavior.

Anger or sadness is normal, but it is not okay to disturb or hurt others. To regulate themselves, parents should give their children alternative coping strategies – such as taking deep breaths or talking about their feelings. Control over the expression of emotions is a key skill that a child needs for the inevitable ups and downs of life.

4. “Let’s solve this together.”

If your child is frustrated or having problems, you should not step in to make things right. According to Morin, children should learn problem-solving skills and learn that there are different ways to solve difficulties.

By offering to work on it together, you reassure your child that they don’t have to go through the situation alone, while also giving them a helpful approach.

5. “I hope you are proud of yourself and your hard work!”

Children learn to be happy about their efforts. This helps them learn to motivate themselves. Psychotherapist Morin explains that it is important to prioritize perseverance over perfection – and not just evaluate results. If parents only have children, for example praise for good grades they may think that the grades on their transcript are more important than honesty or integrity.

6. “What experience made you brave enough to fail?”

Resilient children understand that failure is part of development. This question interprets failure as a sign of courage.

Talking openly about failure encourages children to try new things and build confidence through their efforts, regardless of the outcome.

7. “What can we learn from this?”

This sentence shifts the focus to growth and learning, explains the education expert. It teaches them to see setbacks as opportunities for improvement and helps them develop an attitude of curiosity rather than self-criticism.

8. “Do you need to solve the problem or do you need to deal with how it makes you feel?”

This question, Morin says, introduces an important distinction between external challenges and internal responses. Teaching children to recognize whether the problem lies in their situation (such as a math paper) or their feelings (fear of getting it wrong) would help them better control their reactions.

9. “What if that’s not true?”

This question helps them question and reformulate beliefs. It directs the focus to the exceptions. Because children often have absolute ideas like “I’m not smart” or “Nobody likes me.” The question allows them to look at themselves and the world more flexibly.