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Sexlessness in a relationship is more common than you think – internist Christoph Nitsche shows what consequences there are and what helps.
Dr. Christoph Nitsche is a specialist in internal medicine and emergency medicine. After clinical training with a focus on cardiology and intensive work as a general practitioner, he set up his practice on the village square in Meckenheim-Merl in 2024. As an active emergency doctor, he combines internal medicine expertise with a holistic view of his patients. He is part of us EXPERTS Circle. The content represents his personal opinion based on his individual expertise.
Important: A fulfilling life without sex is possible if both partners are happy with the situation.
Health effects
Sexlessness is not automatically harmful to health. It becomes particularly stressful when it is experienced as unwanted:
- Psychological: frustration, lower self-esteem, tension in the relationship.
- Physical (indirect): stress-related complaints such as sleep disorders, headaches or gastrointestinal problems.
- The positive effects of regular sexual activity – for example a short-term reduction in blood pressure or a slight strengthening of the immune system – then disappear, but can be easily balanced out with exercise, a balanced diet and stress management.
Role of communication
Open conversations are the most important key to overcoming sexless periods. Anyone who talks about wishes, worries and possible triggers prevents misunderstandings and blame. Together you can find new ways to closeness and intimacy – even beyond sexual intercourse.
When medical or therapeutic help makes sense
- If the lack of sex is persistently stressful, leads to conflicts or triggers depressive moods.
- If physical problems such as pain, hormonal disorders or medication are possible causes.
Here, a family doctor, gynecologist/urologist or specialized couples and sex therapist can clarify whether medical or psychological factors are present.
Possible causes of declining sexuality
- Physical: hormonal changes (e.g. menopause), chronic illnesses, side effects of medications.
- Psychological: Stress at work or in everyday family life, exhaustion, unresolved conflicts, depression or anxiety disorders.
- Relationship dynamics: lack of time together, creeping alienation, lack of communication.
Conclusion: Sexless periods are not uncommon in long-term relationships. It only becomes a problem when they create suffering. Anyone who feels stressed should speak openly with their partner and seek medical or therapeutic help if necessary. In this way, it can be clarified whether there are physical or psychological causes – and how closeness and intimacy can grow again.
