Tomorrow there is an election of directors at ZDF. But if you think that this will be a high mass of democratic competition with a debate contest by many candidates, an anti-fascist bouncy castle and five percussion bands from eight countries that are already drumming Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy” in the parking lot – then I have to disappoint you. Cemetery peace is more to be expected.

And it doesn’t just have to do with the fact that tomorrow is Friday. There are at most a few craftsmen working on Lerchenberg in Mainz who simply couldn’t find an excuse to work from home. And of course the old and certainly new director will also be present: Norbert Himmler. The 55-year-old is simply the only candidate.

The remnants of ancient party proportional thinking

He will be elected tomorrow by a 60-member television council that steadfastly believes that it represents German civil society. In truth, it is the remnant of ancient proportional thinking, according to which all positions here used to be filled: Are you red or black? The television councilors probably feel even older than the ZDF audience. And that’s an average of 65. At least that’s what ChatGPT told me.

As a representative of ZDF’s privately organized press competition, I unfortunately couldn’t afford such a lavish fact-checking department tonight when this text was written, which has already made astonishing mistakes in the recent past with the second one (which supposedly gives you better visibility).

Do you remember Jan Böhmermann, who likes to call his contributions “satire” when lawsuits are threatened because of false reports? He insulted the head of the Federal Office for Information Security, Arne Schönbohm, as a pro-Kremlin “cyber clown,” whereupon the then SPD Interior Minister Nancy Faeser dismissed him.

So not Böhmermann, but Schönbohm. He sued and was right; ZDF is now no longer allowed to repeat some of the allegations.

And suddenly there were AI fakes in the second

The ZDF correspondent Elmar Theveßen then explained to his viewers in late summer after the murder of Charlie Kirk that the MAGA activist had advocated the stoning of homosexuals. Theveßen had to apologize for this false report.

It can happen sometimes. But then a few weeks ago it came out that fake images were used in a ZDF report about the US immigration agency ICE. That finally sounded less like a news cathedral and more like a swingers party in the Vatican.

A staff meeting that was arranged digitally oscillated between a wagon-holding mentality, self-doubt and the classic misunderstanding that one has an educational mandate. Many of the 4,000 permanent employees carry the belief that their public service work saves democracy like a polished monstrance. The need for internal clarification is apparently less pronounced.

Between “Volle Kanne” and the Kaulitz brothers

Funnily enough, the “basic supply” also includes a lot of “Dream Ship”, “Bergdoktor”, “Volle Kanne” and – already the ZDF educational policy highlight in 2026! – a “Wetten,dass..?” edition with the Kaulitz brothers.

I’m sure you mean well with the second one. I don’t want to deny that at all. They try hard. But they too are now being watched more suspiciously, which some internally are only too happy to declare as a brazen attack.

This can sometimes erode the audience’s understanding that such a company is worth over two billion euros in broadcasting fees every year, right?